a change of plans...

this has been a difficult post to write... many of my impressions and experiences are too sacred to share... but not only do i have news to share, i'm also learning a lot during a short period of time that might be beneficial to share. perhaps what i'm learning will help someone else who will read this. and should i forget, please remind me to come back and read this post!!! :)

last monday started out like any other monday but things changed when, after lunch, mason was called into the CEO's office at work and he was laid off. his company has been struggling for over a year and we knew that things weren't improving; we were hoping they weren't getting any worse either. but the structural department (which was mason's department) just didn't have enough jobs coming up to keep both mason and his boss busy. all of mason's coworkers have been laid off previously so the fact that we made it this long is really a blessing. we knew it was a possibility, and we tried to plan and act accordingly, but i must admit that it still came as a shock.

you could say that it's pretty bad timing too considering that we just bought a house and we have a baby on the way. but i don't suppose that these things ever happen when it's convenient. the funny thing is that, say 2 months ago, if someone would have asked me, "what's the worst thing that could happen?" i would have said, "mason getting laid off." all i was thinking of was losing our new house. that would be the worst, i thought. and now the supposed worst thing has happened and it's really not that bad! i have felt so comforted and peaceful about the whole situation for which i am so thankful. the last thing i want to do is to put more stress on mason because i'm freaking out all the time! {that happens too much already... :)}

there are still so many unknowns - too many to even begin to describe - but i still feel comforted that somehow, someway, we're going to be all right. we've always paid a full tithing and we will continue to do so. we've already put the promise found in malachi to the test and we have felt that we've been blessed because of it. so i feel confident that we will continue to be blessed. it may not be in the ways we expect or in the timing we expect, but i know that we will be blessed.

malachi 3:10
"bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

the other thing that has been so comforting to me during this time is my knowledge of the plan of salvation. my eternal perspective has helped strengthen my faith. i'm trying to see this experience as just another set of challenges that mason and i will face together during this life rather than thinking the sky has fallen and this is the worst thing that could happen. mason and i need to grow and progress, both individually, as a couple and as a family, so we're going to be tested in order to be able to do so.

i've also realized that the absolute worst cannot happen. the absolute worst would be losing mason or andrew or this precious spirit that i'm carrying, forever. but that won't happen!! since mason and i have been sealed in the temple for time and for all eternity, our children have been born within that covenant and we are all sealed together for all eternity. i know that if the unthinkable were to happen and i did lose one of them or all of them, they would not be lost forever. how grateful i am for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for my eternal perspective because of the knowledge that i have!

it's going to be difficult, there's no doubt about that. i thought we were living frugally before! we're going to have to take it to an entirely new level. but i don't need the newest, cutest clothes and andrew has no idea that we're poor. as long as he gets love, attention, and a little food, he's as happy as can be!! i'll have hand-me-down kids instead of gap kids but that's ok. :) and maybe, if we endure this trial well, maybe we'll be asked to endure the trial of affluence next!