all things bright and beautiful

i've been spending a lot of time indoors since i've not been feeling well, so when i heard that it was supposed to be a nice day yesterday, i decided to get out and enjoy it. the weather was awesome and it felt great to be out in the sunshine. it was so bright that the pictures i took of andrew hardly turned out. i'd planned on going for a long walk on a trail near our house but i got tired more quickly than i'd hoped. so it was a short walk, but it still felt great to be outside.

as far as not feeling well, it's lasted a lot longer than i ever expected. i've been tired for awhile (actually probably before andrew was born but i always blamed it on one thing or another so i didn't pay too much attention) and the total lack of energy was really starting to get to me. then my legs started aching and it was so severe that i started getting worried. so i finally made a doctors appointment. long story short, we still don't know what's wrong but we've been able to narrow it down to two possibilities: chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia. i have an appointment to see a rheumatology specialist in december and we'll see what he says. in the meantime, i'll try some more medication to see if it eases any of the symptoms.

it's been difficult and i've fallen into frustration and discouragment more often than i'd like to admit. but as i walked yesterday, i felt the sunshine warming my soul. it was one of those tender mercies that often happen but are also often overlooked. i'm grateful that i was paying attention yesterday because it was a message that i needed to receive.